I don't know how to write this, but I'll try my best. These few words will just be me rambling on and since this website was made for me I guess it should be fine.
I didn't plan on publicizing these thoughts, but I thought maybe I'll be able to relate to some people. Just maybe. Who knows?
Who knows.
Things could've gone as planned if I was strong enough.
Everything would've also been fine if I didn't lie to myself.
Was I really 100% sure? It felt more like 40% to me.
Can I honestly say things would've been fine?
Was it guaranteed that I wouldn't be hurt?
I already knew the answer to that question. Of course I was going to get hurt. The real question now. "Was I willing to deal with it?"
It has happened so many times.. I lost track of how many times it happened but each time it did, I felt like things would be ok.
Maybe this is just a phase that will quickly breeze away.
If it is? Well, if it is then there shouldn't be a harm in trying to work it out, right?
I know I'm a curious person, but am I being curious for the wrong things?

I woke up to a dream that actually made sense. How many times does that happen?
It felt like an "if" dream. If I made the decision to fight for what I want would things have been different?
If I just gave it a bit more time before I finalized my decision would things have went my way?
Maybe I was just putting up a facade by worrying about others when in reality I was just trying to protect myself.
I built a wall around myself but I felt like that one person could easily knock it down.
I built a wall around myself and I felt like that one brick I held onto and threw out there knocked him down.
I'm sure the feelings are still there and maybe things would've worked out, but I didn't fight for it.
If I didn't fight for it can I really say I tried my hardest?
Can I even complain if I didn't get my way?

Sometimes I feel like the world just knows when I'm in the worst mood possible.
Remember my poem? "When It's Over"
I wrote that poem when I was flooding with emotions.. when Houston was flooding; suffering alongside me.
The night it happened? I recieved a flash flood warning that would last until 4am.
The very next day? It turns out the rain is still pouring. My thoughts are still pouring. My brain is rumbling and my chest is booming.
There will be thunderstorms throughout the day and skies will continue to be grey until nighttime when skies darken and thoughts enter the minds of people who lie awake.

Sorry, I got sidetracked by the weather.
I'm going to enjoy a nice piece of cheese and feed it to you in words 'til next time.
Enjoy this photo of a squirrel I captured this morning.